Perfectionism – Let It Go!

posted in: Mindful Living 6

Some life lessons, or aha moments, trickle slowly into your awareness over time, and some are more like a flash storm that seems to come out of nowhere but leaves you drenched to your core. My aha moment with perfectionism was more like the latter.

I remember the day very clearly in my mind, even though it was 10 years ago. The day it hit me that it was my perfectionism, not the circumstances around me that caused my suffering. I realized that my expectation and obsession with things being perfect was keeping me from enjoying my life as it was in the moment (and my life is pretty awesome). I was missing the beauty and blessings of my life because I had this picture in my mind of what things “should” be like. Holding onto that picture of perfection meant I couldn’t see all the brilliance right in front of me. My worship of perfection was making me miserable, keeping me from being present to my life and those I loved.

In the video below, I talk more about the day I had this aha moment.

Now, I am certainly not saying we shouldn’t aim for excellence or that we shouldn’t stretch, grow, learn and expand. Of course, we can challenge ourselves to do, to dream, to grow to be more than we are in this stage in our lives. To challenge ourselves to move out of our comfort zone is healthy and what keeps life interesting and builds self-esteem. However, thereย is aย huge difference between wanting to excel and to grow vs. trying to be perfect. From my experience, it is actually the imperfect situations of my life that have been the most fruitful in terms of personal growth and realization and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, if you have been or are currently chasing perfection, consider this:

There is no such thing as perfect; it is an illusion.

If you are an ever-changing, growing, evolving, expanding person (which I hope you are) then your version of perfect will change as you grow. The ‘perfect life’ that I would have envisioned for myself when I was in my 20’s is nothing like what my life is like today (thankfully).

You will never catch perfection. This is good news! When you let go of being perfect or your life being perfect, you can be open to all the beauty, and amazement that surrounds you in every moment.

If you think, “I’ll be happy when…”, “I’ll do the things I want to do with my life when …” always waiting for the ‘perfect time’, you will spend most of your life miserably unhappy.

You will never be perfect, things will never be perfect… you will just have to settle for amazing, incredible, beautiful and inspiring.

“When we let go of being perfect, we can settle for just being amazing.” -nyk danu

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6 Responses

  1. Dianna
    | Reply

    What timing to receive this post. A couple of months ago, I was presented with an amazing opportunity to take one of Nyk’s classes. But due to a disease that robs me of certain mobility movements, I thought my body was not in “perfect” shape to even attempt the class. So I let that blessing that was presented to me, literally slip away, with great sadness.

    Just a month ago, I broke my foot and made my mobility even more limited and my body even more mangled and my spirit less resilient than ever before!

    Please when you come across something amazing and you know it is exactly what you want and so desperately need, don’t let your idea of “perfection” tell your body, spirit and mind….you not in good enough shape right now! It is not the right time just yet. Wait!

    I am telling you please “Don’t wait!”. Run, walk or even crawl to receive these gifts and blessings in disguise. Please do not wait until everything is perfect to take any of these classes or insights that Nyk so generously shares with all of us.

    Thank you for listening. This was difficult to post and tell everyone of my now perceived imperfections, but to know of Nyk and her offerings is worth it. And if it changes even one person’s motivation to start enjoying life now, then I have started my day with happiness.

    In kindness and also with gratitude to start my day with this message from Nyk,

    • Nyk Danu
      | Reply

      Hi Dianna,
      Oh I am all teary now (in the good way) So sorry to hear about your foot. Maybe your foot will be healed enough to join the January session. Your spot is waiting for you when your able ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Cindy H
    | Reply

    Hi Nyk,
    True and beautiful words. I was especially moved by this because I have tried in the past to achieve perfection at various endeavors.
    I have since learned a lot about the ‘progress’ aspect.
    Each day now I have started doing something for myself that I think is very cool. I print one special word on a piece of paper, fold it and stick it in my pocket for the day. It’s my own personal treasure. Whenever I think about the word, it’s a great reminder to concentrate on it and use it in my day to day ‘stuff’. Today my word is ‘discretion’, other days it’s been ‘focus’ or ‘breathe’ or ‘trust’. It’s amazing how many times the opportunity comes up to use the word, and it’s also amazing how many positive words there are in the world! I once used the word ‘butterfly’ because I had read something about minding a person’s own business, and it said the butterfly goes about it’s business with no regard to the other butterflies. It doesn’t worry about how to fix another butterfly or tell another butterfly how to live. I loved the metaphor. Sorry this was so long, but I really felt motivated to write this after I read your beautiful post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Nyk Danu
      | Reply

      What a great idea! Butterflies are also a symbol of transformation so pretty fitting ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Beth Maiden (@littleredtarot)
    | Reply

    DUDE. I love this so much.

    • Nyk Danu
      | Reply

      Thanks Dudette! ๐Ÿ™‚

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