How Yin Yoga Teaches Us To Be Kinder Humans

How Yin Yoga Teaches Us to Be Kinder Humans
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[00:00:00] Today we’re going to talk about what, in my opinion, is one of the biggest benefits of a yin yoga practice of a regular yin practice. And I’ll give you a little hint. It is not the ones you’re often gonna see in other articles or blog posts about the physical benefits of the practice, although those are great also as well.

But this podcast. It’s going to be about what, in my opinion, is the biggest benefit of a yin practice, and that is becoming a kinder human. So stay tuned for more on that.

Welcome or welcome back to a Yin Yoga podcast. If you are new around these parts. Welcome If you are. , Old friend. Welcome back. Today we’re gonna talk about [00:01:00] how a regular yin yoga practice can help us become more kind humans. And I know some of you might be listening to this thinking, uh, Nick, that’s a bit of a stretch, pun intended, but you’ll see I have plenty to share with you on this topic.

But before we get into that, I wanted to share a little bit of podcast love that I have received. This., , podcast review is by Janie Wynn. Nick Denu brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to these podcasts for those who practice or teach yoga.

She explores the themes with grace. Encouraging teachers to consider what and how they teach and shares her thoughts on all things Yin. A highly thought provoking and informative podcast. Janie, thank you. What a wonderful review and pretty much exactly what I’m hoping for. A support for teachers [00:02:00] and serious practitioners.

Thought provoking, informative, , if you have not yet offered a review, my friends, and you’ve been listening regularly, I would be so grateful if you would take a moment, just pause this right now, and whatever app you’re listening to it on, whether it’s Spotify or Apple, you can give five stars.

Or you can also give a written review on Apple, so you could do five stars, and then give me some written feedback about what you’ve been finding from the show, what you love about the show. And on Spotify. You can do it in the comments section. So you can do five stars and then you can leave me a comment under this episode, on the podcast and , how it’s been helping you, what your ahas have been.

I would love to hear from you. So if you wouldn’t mind doing that, it makes a big difference. Not only for me who’s sitting here solo, often in front of a microphone going, is anybody out there? Is anyone listening? Is this helpful at all? So [00:03:00] it helps me with that, but it also helps the algorithms. So you know, it helps Apple and Spotify and things like that.

Push the podcast out to other ies. Who might be looking for more information,, because it shows them that the podcast is getting engagement. So if you would please take a moment to do some of those things. For those of you that have been around for a while and you haven’t done it, I would be ever grateful.

If you’re on YouTube, you can do two things. Make sure you’re subscribed, number one, and then leave me a comment below. Same thing. Let me know. How’s the podcast been going for you? Any ahas, any topics you want me to discuss, you can also let me know those. I do take requests as long as it’s yin or yin adjacent, it can happen.

If I don’t have the information, I will bring someone on who does? The other thing to mention is at the time of this recording. [00:04:00] Registration for the spring round of my 100 hour therapeutic yin yoga training is open. Now, depending on when you’re listening to this, it may either still have , a spot or two, or it may be full.

, So you can check that out. The link is always in the show notes. , It’s the one that says, get on the wait list. And if you’re listening to this and you do wanna join me for training at some point, but not this round, get on the wait list. So that I can start giving you goodies along the way to registration opening.

Okay. And then the final note, my friends, I have the soul of a mermaid and the mouth of a sailor. So if you have small people around, please grab some headphones now. So I would credit more than anything else that I’ve done in my life. Yin yoga and meditation, because I do not separate those two, because I think each time you’re in a shape is a opportunity for a small meditation.[00:05:00]

Yin yoga and meditation have been the most, , impactful practices in my life. And not just because, , it gives me regular self-care time, which it does, of course not only because it’s helped me with my, with chronic pain, which of course it has not only because it’s helped me become more physically flexible, which of course it has, but it’s actually helped me become a kinder human.

So my regular yin practice and meditation have helped me learn. How to be a kinder human. I was often in the past, quite impatient, um, probably easily frustrated and probably way more judgmental than I am right now, and I can credit my yoga, my regular yen practice and meditation to making those changes in my life.[00:06:00]

You’re gonna hear about a whole bunch of other ones, so. Can a regular yin yoga practice help us become a more kind human? I think so. Those of you that are watching on YouTube, you will see my eyes moving around a little bit because I have notes, because I also have a DD. If I don’t write things down, they’ll get forgotten.

So this is to keep me on track. So how does yin yoga teach us to become a kinder human? Well, there’s probably endless ways, but I’m gonna give you 10. 10 ways that regular yin yoga practice can make you a kinder human, number one, and I think perhaps the most profound. You practice meeting yourself as you are that day, regularly showing up for yourself.

Without conditions attached, creates [00:07:00] that inner tone from which kindness naturally extends outward. So when you take the time to show up for yourself, to practice self-care, to heal, to ground, in whatever way you happen to be that day without judgment, without criticism, just here I am on my mat today.

This is how I am. This naturally translates to how you show up in the world. When you have this sort of inner tone of gentleness, nurturing, and acceptance for yourself, then that’s naturally gonna extend outward into the world.

Number two, you learn to stay when things are uncomfortable. Our yin practice asks us to remain with sensation, uncertainty, restlessness, and a busy mind [00:08:00] over time. When we learn to practice yin, this translates into more patience. When you’re uncomfortable physically in your practice, it translates into noticing your restlessness and the uncertainty and noticing your mind.

And then this can then translate into more patients when you are uncomfortable with others. When you’re off of your yoga mat and you’re out in the world and uncomfortable situations come up with others and with other people’s discomfort. So instead of rushing to fix it, judge it or get away from it. We can also witness our own discomfort with other people in the world and their discomfort.

Number three, you soften the habit of force. In our culture, we have often been taught to [00:09:00] push and strive and override our signals that our body or our heart are giving us. In our yin practice, we are doing less. Ideally, if you’re doing yin, I don’t wanna say correctly, but I’ll say skillfully, then you’re not doing a hundred percent of the most that you could do in your shapes, and so then this force tendency tends to soften on the mat and then it softens in your being, and then it softens in conversations in your decision making.

And in your relationships when you’re not on the, the yoga map. So it starts with you. You start to learn to stop pushing, striving, and overriding the signals that your body is giving you. And as that force softens, it starts to soften the force that we may have brought out in the past into our relationships with others.[00:10:00]

Number four. You become aware of your edges. Now, I don’t love the word edge, but I know a lot of people use it in yin, so I’ll use it here. But when you start to feel your limit, when you come into a shape and you’re like, oh, okay, yeah, there’s the sensation, then it makes you less likely to project expectations on others.

So when you start to really study yin yoga. Deeply, whether it’s the physical postures or the understanding of skeletal variation, you stop assuming that everyone is like you and that everyone should function the way you do. So we all have different bone structures, different bodies, different temperaments, et cetera, et cetera, different lives, and when we start to acknowledge that, then.

Kindness grows because we stop assuming that everyone should do things the way we do things, or everyone should think the way we think, or everyone [00:11:00] should do whatever the way that we do it, when we become aware of our own edges, and I would argue that an edge is actually not really an edge to me, they feel more like lines in the sand because it will change partway through your practice and what might’ve felt like.

You know, your so-called air quotes edge, you know, in a stretch might soften over time and you might go deeper, or the opposite can also happen and you realize, oh, I actually went over the area of sensation where I should be lingering, and now I have to backtrack a little. So it keeps you more aware of your own edges and your limits and makes you more adaptable, more open, and then you’re less likely to project those expectations onto others.

You acknowledge that everybody’s different, and even that in yourself, what might be your edge one day in a PO pose might be totally different in another, and so we can [00:12:00] stop assuming that everyone should function the way that we do. This one’s a big one. Learning to witness long holds. Train the nervous system.

Not only to drop into our parasympathetic and to relax, which it does, and to practice introception and awareness of what’s happening inside of us, which it does, but also to listen rather than react. Many people aren’t actually aware of how much they think and how many of those thoughts are the same exact thoughts on repeat over and over and over again.

Yin yoga gives us the opportunity to witness our thoughts and when we start to see, wow, I think a lot all the time, and huh, this is the same repetitive thought that keeps coming up over and over and over again. When we start to learn that through our [00:13:00] practice, then we’re a lot more able to witness our thoughts when we’re not on the yoga mat.

So learning to witness your mind, watch your mind in a sort of curious, unattached way while you’re practicing yoga, then translates to when you’re not practicing yoga. It gives us the opportunity to witness our thoughts and learn to respond instead of react. So instead of a knee jerk reaction based on what we’re thinking, it gives us the skill to go, hang on, let me pause here.

And witness and notice what’s going on in the mind. Is it true? Is it not true? Have you made some judgements? Do you have all the information? Is it wise? Is it not wise? Is it skillful? Is it unskillful before you decide how to respond? So this skill quietly , carries out into how you hear others and witness others less [00:14:00] fixating, less fixing, more presence.

Kindness grows when you stop assuming that everybody should function the way that you do and that everybody should think the way that you do, and everyone should feel the way that you do, right? Learning to witness gives us room for curiosity, which takes the judging mind offline. If I am witnessing my thoughts.

If you and I are out and about, I. Happen to run into you and you say something that I’m like, huh, I don’t think so. I have two choices, right? I could immediately jump in with a rebuttal or I can actually pause and sit with it and go, my mind is saying no to this information. Why is that? Do I have all the information?

Maybe I should ask some questions. Maybe some curiosity might be a good thing, and then I could ask you questions. Tell me more about that. I hadn’t thought of it that way. What do you [00:15:00] mean by that? Right. And this softens this judging mind that wants to be right and make everybody else wrong. So more presence, more kindness.

When we stop assuming that everyone should think and function the way that we do. ’cause we all have our own unique experiences and lives that we’ve had before we meet.

Number six, you normalize vulnerability. Yin places us in shapes where because we’re so relaxed, our control is limited. And also we’re there for minutes at a time and we’re sitting there swimming in the soup of our mind and our emotions. And all of this can be a bit vulnerable. But over, and that can feel really uncomfortable at the beginning.

But over time when we do this, it starts to reduce any shame we might feel or [00:16:00] fear about being vulnerable and open, and it increases our compassion for others. So when I can embrace my own vulnerability and messiness and uncertainty and lack of control, then I’m far more likely. To bring that energy into my interactions with others and to be more open to other people’s vulnerability and also to understand and witness when other people are struggling to be vulnerable.

Number seven, you developed respect for timing. In yen are deeper tissues respond slowly. So do people. Yin teaches us that transformation unfolds in its own time, that you cannot force these deeper tissues of the body. You simply have to surrender and soften into gravity and let it happen in its own time [00:17:00] at its own pace, which can make us more forgiving when change doesn’t happen in our time timeline.

Again, all of these little lessons that we learn while we’re making these funny shapes with our body aren’t meant to just be learned about our physical body. On our yoga mat, if we’re really living yoga, which I hope you are, then you’re taking these little ahas that you learn on your yoga mat and you’re translating them out into your life where it really counts.

So when you understand that tissue responds slowly, your body responds slowly, and that you can’t force or control how quickly that tissue’s gonna open or when it’s gonna change. Then Yin teaches this, that transformation unfolds at its own rhythm, and then that makes you more forgiving and patient when change doesn’t happen in your own timeline.

Number eight, you learn to differentiate [00:18:00] sensation from story. I would also say thoughts from stories as well. Yin cultivates. A discernment between what is actually happening and the narrative that we layer on top. Right? Here’s a very clear, easy example of how this might happen. Dragon Pose, low lunge.

For those of you who love it, good for you. You’re clearly more enlightened than I am, but let’s just use Dragon Pose as an example. We can come into Dragon Pose, and this is a joke I often crack in my classes, and I know by the laughter in the room that I’m not the only one. You can come into Dragon Pose and you can go, whoa, this pose is a lot.

Holy shit. Why am I so tight here? I hate this pose. How long are we gonna be here?

Why am I so tight here? [00:19:00] It’s because I sit in chairs a lot. Maybe it’s because I sit in chairs too much. Are we there yet? How much longer? Really wanna come out of this pose. You see the difference. What you’re actually feeling is just strong sensation, probably in your hip flexors. But then the, we’re layering all that other crap on top of it, all of the stories.

I hate this pose. Why am I so tight here? Blah, blah, blah. All of that is a story. It’s not actually real. It’s a story. Your mind is telling you to distract you from the sensation. Hmm. And we may notice this happening in our lives when we’re out in the world, when we can differentiate our thought or our emotions and witness that without needing to make stories about it or [00:20:00] about the other people in our lives.

Then this can reduce our reactivity and create more thoughtful and kinder responses. I’m gonna give you a real life example. My father, who I love and who I know loves me, never remembers my birthday. I mean, he remembers that I was born. Actually, he may not even, he may confuse December 20th and 21st, I think one year.

I’m not sure. Anyways, he never remembers my birthday. He never has, probably when I was a small child, he did because some female in his life remembered and made sure to get some presents and put a cake together. But my dad just doesn’t remember my birthday or my sisters for that matter. And so I could tell myself all kinds of stories about the fact that my father never remembers my birthday.

I could make that mean all kinds of things that it does not mean. You know, if he [00:21:00] really loved me, he would remember. He knows the birthdays are important to me. You know, clearly. I mean, this is just his way of abandoning me, et cetera, et cetera. You see where I’m going with this? Actually, none of that’s true, but what’s true is my dad doesn’t remember my birthday.

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, doesn’t mean I’m not important to him. Doesn’t mean that in his own way he’s happy I was born. It just means that my dad, the way he works, birthdays aren’t a thing. They aren’t a big deal. Interestingly though, there was only one time in my whole adult life that I forgot to call my father on his birthday, not because I forgot it was his birthday, but because I, I actually thought we were a week earlier in October than it actually was.

So I was behind my time mentally, and so I didn’t think it was his birthday yet, so I hadn’t called him and he called me. Within two days and was like, you didn’t call me on my birthday. You could hear the hurt in his voice, [00:22:00] and yet he never calls me on my birthday unless, of course, my sister calls him and reminds him, which we do for each other.

So I could say, dad, fricking hypocrite. Sure you never celebrate my birthday. Never remember my birthday, but I forgot your birthday once. And they were all up in my business about it. ,

That would be the story. , That wouldn’t be the emotion. That wouldn’t be the thoughts, that would be the story I’m telling myself about.

The thoughts or the emotion and stories can just as easily be fiction as fact

number nine, you become less attached to performance. No air quote, peak pose, yin and no sort of goal pose or no, you are doing this pose until you can look like this, that this is the full version of the pose. [00:23:00] Because none of that is relevant to yin Practicing Y regularly can gradually loosen our grip of comparison.

No longer does it matter if I’m doing the same version of as pose as the person next to me if I no longer care about things like peak poses, air quotes, full poses, , or having a specific way that the pose should look. When I start to realize that actually we’re all just doing our own thing here, and we all have different bones and different bodies, and so my version of the pose, my version of the goal pose is am I feeling sensation in the intended area within a tolerable degree, and am I able to practice being present through that?

Oh, there’s the goal. So it loosens the grip of comparison. We stop looking at other people as a way to decide if we’re doing it right. We come less attached to performance and measuring ourselves through productivity or [00:24:00] appearance. And then kindness grows when we stop measuring our worth through productivity, appearance, and we’re less likely to then measure other people through their productivity and appearance.

Number 10. You cultivate steadiness in stillness. The ability to be at ease without always doing something translates into a calmer, more grounded presence. And people can often feel this. It can be palpable. They can experience this steadiness, this groundedness in another person as safety. And I know this is true because this is one of the things that I.

Often hear from people that know me a little or a lot. You’re so grounded when I’m with you. I just feel calmer. You’re so grounded. [00:25:00] Now, of course, they’re not in my brain, but I will. So I’m not always so grounded. But I will say that definitely my yin and my meditation practice has helped me become more grounded because of all of the things I just listed above.

And it helps me be less anxious. It helps me be less rushed. It helps me be more present . It helps me to accept, it helps me to be more vulnerable. And because I’m building all of these skills while I’m on my yoga mat, then I’m more able to take them off of the mat.

We can be. So especially, and it’s gotten just worse with social media and the political landscape where everyone is either on this side or that side and we’re always judging each other. I would say that Yen could be a good antidote to that. And when we can learn to [00:26:00] witness people, ask them questions, be curious and soften our hearts a little.

That’s definitely the key to yin yoga, making us more kind. A regular yin yoga practice can soften the way we meet life ourselves, others, and the whole world around us. And after all, as Ramdas says, we are all just walking each other home.

Okay, my friends, there’s my little roundup of how yin yoga teaches us to become a kinder human. I hope that you found this intriguing. Maybe there’s some things here that you hadn’t thought of. It’s possible just to summarize over overall without going through each point again. [00:27:00] If the yoga practice that we’re doing on the mat is not affecting our lives when we’re off of the mat, then we’re not really practicing yoga.

I’m gonna say that again. If all you’re doing in your physical yoga practice is thinking about your hamstrings, and you’re not tuning into these deeper lessons and deeper thoughts in. Physical practice. And you know, we could argue that yo yoga in general does some of these things that I just mentioned, but Yin does them way better because of the time, the quiet and the stillness.

So can you use your practice, dear human, dear kind, human as a tool for learning and growing not only for yourself. Then taking that out into the world with you when you interact with others so that you can [00:28:00] be a kind human. Because one thing I know for sure is that the world could use a lot more kind humans.

Okay, my friends. That’s it for this one. Bye for now.