When A Student Walks Out Of Your Yin Yoga Class

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Hi Yinies, and welcome back to a yin Yoga. Podcast

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Nyk Danu Yoga: if you’re new around here, welcome thanks for stopping by for those of you that are return listeners welcome back friends.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So today’s topic is one that I had on my list. I keep a little list

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Nyk Danu Yoga: yeah in the magic, iphone of

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Nyk Danu Yoga: podcast ideas. When I see questions or when you guys reach out whether it be on Instagram or wherever. And you send me some questions, I keep a little list of

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Nyk Danu Yoga: of podcast episodes that I need to record in my phone.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So this one’s been on the list for a little while. Based on something I saw in the Facebook group a yin Yoga network. And if you’re a Yin fan and you are

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Nyk Danu Yoga: on Facebook, and you are not a member yet of a yin Yoga network. You need to get in there.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: That’s where the Yin party is.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: just make sure you answer all of the the admittance questions. Otherwise you won’t get let in. I’m now at this point. At the time of this recording, I’m 1 of the 4 admins of that group. It’s not my group. I just pitch in where I can.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because I love the group. And I was always interacting in the group. And so there we go.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So anyways, I had seen this come up

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Nyk Danu Yoga: in a yin in that yin group and

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Nyk Danu Yoga: thought, let’s add that to the list, and then

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Nyk Danu Yoga: it just came up for me personally in my class, not even a week ago.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So today’s topic is, what do we do when someone walks out of the class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: what do we do when a student gets up off their mat and leaves the room and leaves your class? What do we do with that?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But before we do.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: y’all, my heart is like, you know how, if you can do like an emoji heart, but then it’s like animated, and all the little hearts keep coming out of it. That’s what’s happening right now.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because in a yin Yoga network.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Somebody who I have not met before, but apparently listens to the pot. Her name is Amanda Parr! Shout out, Amanda

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Nyk Danu Yoga: posted this in the group.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I just want to give a shout out to Nick Danux. I have never met her. But I’ve been listening to her podcast now for the past few months. As a fellow. Yin geek, I really enjoy the deep dives into different yin topics that are concise and easy to listen to.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: All the best to you, Nick, keep them coming.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Okay. 1st of all, totally unsolicited praise. Thank you, Amanda.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And that’s exactly what I hope the podcast. Will do. So yay but then, what ensued afterwards

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Nyk Danu Yoga: in the thread is where the so? There’s the big heart, you know, for Amanda’s comment, and then all the little cartoon hearts that come off of that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: are from the people that commented afterwards.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Nicola, Bell said, it’s like a continuing education course, so much goodness.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Sherry catchpole said. Well, said I, got a heart from Dorothy.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Rayanne, Hatfield said. I’ve never met her either, but I love her podcast too. So much usable information shared. Thanks, Nick.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Amy Newfield, Klein said. My favorite Yoga. Podcast by far, I always hear something new, Eleanor said.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Eleanor, is it, Dineson. I’m not sure if I’m saying your name right. A really good podcast.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Linda said, I, love, how clear you are. The information is spot on this is where I finally got

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Nyk Danu Yoga: a notified that someone had tagged me and chimed in

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then Keisha said she really enjoyed the recent episode with Bernie and thank you. Angie Evans says she’s amazing resource for yin teacher. And I love her Podcast

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Christina, said she agree. And then this is where I piped in and said, y’all are making me blush. And I’m still blushing.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Heather. Lincoln said, I agree. Love. Her podcast can’t wait to take her teacher training.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Trainee, Blair said, love. This we got clapping emojis

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Jennifer says, agrees with all the accolades, learning so much from me and my podcasts.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Rachy Rach agreed.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Fellow Canadian living in Australia loves hearing the Canadian accent. Well, you’re welcome. I can’t. I won’t even try to do an Australian accent, because that would be abysmal

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and expressions, but the content is helpful and well presented. Yay for yin nerds. Thank you, Nick. Yay, for yin nerds.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then Tracy, who was a is a graduate of my program. Nick is a wonderful person. I appreciate her insight and knowledge.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and then I’ve got Amy Lee said. Ditto. Nick is my favorite yoga Podcaster, too. I do a little happy dance when new episodes drop, listening all the way from South Africa. Hello, Amy, in South Africa.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then I posted again a big thank you, Emoji.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Louise said. She literally couldn’t agree. More adores Yin and the podcast have been so informative loves the down to Earth style, and the knowledge is amazing. Trying to convince her family next holiday needs to be in Canada, so she can experience my classes.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: To which I said.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I have zoom classes, and y’all any of y’all listening, provided that I even remotely work in your time zone, which I don’t for everybody. But if I do.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: please, I got zoom classes. There’s a link in the show notes. They are registered semesters not drop in. But if you’d like a season of yin with me, I’d love to have you join me. It’s so cool having people from like all over the world.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Jenny Wright, fellow graduate again of my program. Yes, I had the good fortune to train with hers, and she’s exactly the same in person.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Well, online in person since we were on zoom, as on the podcast. I love her podcast too. It’s like continuing education, credits and inspiration. First, st Yoga training. I completed and felt confident to both teach and practice

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Nyk Danu Yoga: loves Nick. Oh, thank you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And here’s another graduate that chimed in. Y’all, I did not pay these people. This is the best kind of press ever Erin Greaves, she’s amazing. I followed her for a long time, and then I, too, was excited when the podcast came out. So much extra knowledge and reaffirmation moments. Every time I listen I was able to take her in training last fall, and highly recommend it for anyone who is looking for training or to deepen their knowledge.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then Lisa says, yes, thank you, Nick. Daniel Marilyn Nelson agree. And then then there’s people that are like, oh, wait I I better listen.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Where can I listen?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then, Missy swim Fins, who I know by another name but that shall stay secret, who has also taken my training.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so happy to have a true, passionate, professional, guiding our way in the Yin world. Nick Tenu is the best, and if you’re considering doing her training. Do it. What you glean in her trainings will set you apart. Students will recognize and appreciate the depth of your knowledge that makes your classes rich and wonderful.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then, Claire, my friend Claire.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I couldn’t agree more. She’s top notch

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I don’t know how to say this. I don’t think this is your name. I think it might be your business name

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Lifestrip. Yoga, said Nick, is the Best

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Nyk Danu Yoga: love, her podcast her sense of humor and Passion for Yin, the Queen of Yin Yoga. Thank you. Although I would prefer Empress

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then Jackie says, she’s really enjoyed listening to the Podcast so okay, thank you for humoring me. That was long, but you know that was so sweet. Thank you, Amanda. Not only did you share your gratitude with me, but you gave other people an opportunity to, you know, share their insights about the podcast and their gratitude for it. And you know, people who were like, what? Wait, what? There’s a yin pod, what? There’s a yin yoga podcast

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Nyk Danu Yoga: to to be able to check it out. So thank you so much, Amanda.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I was getting all the klempt, as I was reading them, or leaky, as my Bestie calls it.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so that’s that’s the podcast love that I’ll share for today, I just want to let those of you know that might be on Youtube.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: That once again, few months ago, I probably mentioned I got kittens.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and although they’re more teenagers than babies right now.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: my littlest one is like a ninja. She’s very hyper, but she also is all about mommy

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Nyk Danu Yoga: until Daddy’s home, of course. Then she’s all about Daddy but anyway, she really does love a lot of attention and cuddles, and so she is

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Nyk Danu Yoga: sort of on my lap right now with a blanket, but also having a lot of trouble settling in because she’s really hyper. So if you suddenly see me randomly lifting up a cat or pulling

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Nyk Danu Yoga: kitten nails out of my legs, or flinching or moving. If you’re on Youtube, that would be why.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: all right, she does make some cameos occasionally.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Okay. My friends, if you have not offered a review for the podcast. Here’s and you want to.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: If you’ve been loving the podcast. If you’ve been getting a lot from it.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I would be honored if you would offer me some review, love, if you’re listening on Apple, you can give it 5, stars and or both. You can also leave a written review.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Let me know kind of what your takeaways are from the podcast if it’s been helpful for you. If you’re on spotify, you can do stars. But you can also now leave comments under the episodes which is super cool.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and if you’re on Youtube, you can comment below, give this a like, a thumbs up, make sure you’re subscribed and give it a like. And also those of you that are perhaps listening on apple or spotify. Make sure you’re following the show. So you don’t miss episodes.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: All right, that’s enough of that business.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Let’s talk about what do we do when someone walks out of your classroom?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I remember very clearly story time 1st kids.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because I think stories illustrate so much. I remember very, very clearly the 1st time somebody walked out of my classroom

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I was teaching at A. It’s like a technical college like for trades and stuff, and they had a fitness program there. And so I was teaching a class. And

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Nyk Danu Yoga: it was, I think it was a sample class, because the register yeah. The registered series was about to start the next week, and this was like their week of like sample classes which I still got paid for. It’s just that people could come and

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and and try the class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And there was a gentleman, an older gentleman that came in, not not like, you know, senior citizen or anything just older than me at the time.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you know, as everybody came in, I just kind of went up and said Hello! And welcomed them and introduced them. My name, and you know said, I’m teaching. And I asked everybody if they had any yoga experience. And he said, Yeah, oh, yeah, he’s done. He’s done several Yoga classes over the years. I said, Okay, great.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So we’re getting started. And he’s got his shoes and his socks on, and I’m not talking like

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Nyk Danu Yoga: light little shoes like, you know, something pretty flat. I’m talking like like big old gym runners.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And

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Nyk Danu Yoga: he’s wearing these big old gym runners in his socks. And so I just kind of announced to the whole group. You know, we need to take our shoes off so that we can actually feel the ground. This will be easier for balancing, plus it’s gonna help improve our ankle strength. And blah! Blah! Who knows what I said this was so many years ago.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and no change, and so I was like, well, if you could at least take the shoes off, I mean, maybe the socks if he got off of it, if his mat was sticky enough, I don’t know

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but yeah, I mentioned it a couple more times.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Just to the whole group.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: didn’t take his shoes off. And then, as we got started in the practice, I had just said,

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you know, I’m gonna walk around the room and just help a few people. And I just went up to him individually. Kind of non, non, you know.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: didn’t make him a spotlight or anything, but just kinda

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Nyk Danu Yoga: whispered to him, you know, can I get you to take your shoes off? And he said, Well, do I have to.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I said, Well, no, but you’re missing a lot of the benefits like for your feet if your shoes are on.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And I went back up to my mat, and he left.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: That was that that was the very 1st time that somebody walked out of my yoga class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I also used to teach at a gym.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and although the class was, this is long before my yin days, long before I had all this yin in me.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: The class that was being taught

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Nyk Danu Yoga: was called strength and stamina. So I mean, if the name doesn’t tell you already what that class was like.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: There was also a very clear description how this was not a beginner, friendly class, and that people should, you know, attending shouldn’t have it, major injuries that they should be, you know, able, bodied that this was this was a an intermediate level class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and an elderly, not elderly, maybe senior, but not quite elderly, yet lady came in who definitely was not. It was class, was not appropriate for her.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and so I, you know, just continued with the class and tried to modify as best I could, but very, a very few minutes, and it became very clear to everybody, herself included, that this was not the class for her, and she just left.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I I’m telling you all of these because it’s happened to me 4 times. I’ve been teaching Yoga for 20 years, and I have had 4 walkouts.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: The other one that I had was

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Nyk Danu Yoga: somebody who came to the studio and

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Nyk Danu Yoga: came to the the Yin class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I think it was a yin class. It might have been a restorative class. I’m not sure either way. Partway through

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Nyk Danu Yoga: she got up, and she she told me, though she addressed it like it was like we were in the maybe 1st quarter of the class, not even we were still doing grounding and centering, and she just said, You know what I thought. This is really what I needed today. But it just isn’t. I’m gonna go

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I think I need a more active class. And I was like, Okay, like no Biggie

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and then it happened just the other day

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I was teaching. We had done our check-in, which I do in every class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: little meet and greet, where everybody says Hello

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and it’s just literally their name, and how they’re doing. And then I had gotten people into onto their back, and we were doing constructive rest, and I was guiding them through some mindfulness.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then somebody just got up and left.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So I’m telling you this, dear teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: 1st of all, so that you know

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that pretty much every teacher I’ve ever talked to has had someone leave during their class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Now, how this came up in the how it was in the list on in my phone before I decided to share it today, because it’s kind of fresh in my mind.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Is because somebody in the Yin Yoga Network group had posted a little

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Nyk Danu Yoga: rantypoo. We’ll say a little ranty poo about the fact that somebody left her yin yoga with Nidra class during Yoga Nidra, and how essentially

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Nyk Danu Yoga: annoyed she was with that, or unimpressed or pissed, or whatever the word was. She didn’t say she was angry, but it was very clear from the ensuing comments later that she was angry about it.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Basically, she came in and said, This is what happened, and she didn’t say, You know I need support. Or has this ever happened to you, or what do you as teachers do when this happens, or why did this happen? What did I do wrong? It wasn’t anything like that. It was all complete in indignation. Am I saying that right indignation

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Nyk Danu Yoga: with the fact that this woman had the nerve to leave partway through Yoga Nidra.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and that when she approached the student who was getting ready to leave the student had told her she was cold.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and that she didn’t think this was a valid reason to interrupt everyone else’s Yoga Nidra experience by leaving the room.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Okay, so needless to say, in the comments

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Nyk Danu Yoga: she got some probably unintended feedback.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And that’s what we’ll go into today.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So, dear Yoga, teacher, if somebody has ever left your classroom that has nothing to do with you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I’m going to say that at least 2 more times.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: dear Yoga, teacher, if somebody leaves your classroom

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that has nothing to do with you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: One more time for the people in the cheap seats.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Dear Yoga, teacher, if somebody leaves your classroom that has nothing to do with you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and it has everything to do with what’s going on with them personally that day, that moment in time.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Sometimes somebody leaving your classroom is them practicing self-care.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: whatever it is that’s coming up for them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: They’re not. They’re not ready to deal with.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Or maybe they’ve realized that this actually just isn’t the kind of class for them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And in case you didn’t know it, dear Yoga, teacher, you are not for everyone.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: You are not for everyone. I’m not for everyone. That’s for, damn sure

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you are not for everyone, not everybody, will love your classes.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And that is okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because there’s a lot of Yoga teachers out there. There’s a lot of Yoga classes out there certainly do not need to all be taught by you. You don’t need to have everybody in the room

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Nyk Danu Yoga: madly in love with your class. In fact, that would be impossible, because everyone has different needs and goals and expectations in that room.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And if what you’re offering doesn’t fit with their needs, goals, or expectations, or where they’re at that day, then it’s okay if they leave.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So the other thing I want to mention is, I have never walked out of a Yoga class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But oh, man, have I been close. Oh, there’s been so many times.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and the only reason that I haven’t done it is for the feelings of the teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I remember the last time I was back in Calgary.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: which is where I’m from visiting friends and family, I decided to go to my old favorite Yoga studio and my old favorite time slot. There used to be a Saturday. I don’t know if it’s still there. A Saturday 4, 30 yin yoga practice which I loved. I mostly loved it because of the teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Who no longer teaches there, no longer teaches Yoga at all, unfortunately, which

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I respect and honor her choice, but also my heart breaks a little because she was a fantastic teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Any who so she no longer teaches it. But anyway, I thought, it’s a Saturday at 4 30. The reason I used to love that class so much is because number one I used to teach on Saturdays. So I taught on Saturday mornings

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Nyk Danu Yoga: 9, you know a 9 till 1015, and then a 1030 to 12 kind of thing. And then I would have some lunch. And I would typically typically, not always, though, but often do some work.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then by 4 30 I’d be like, that’s enough work. And so I loved going to that class meeting a friend, perhaps, and we would do that yin class together. It was a warm yin, not because the teacher wanted the room warm, but just because the class before it was a warm class. And so the room, despite the fact that the heat was now off, was still warm.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It was a warm Yin class, and you were done by.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I think, 6 or quarter to 6.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And so it was a lovely time, because it was the end of my work day I could meet with a friend, and we would do our warm yin practice with my awesome teacher, who was incredibly grounding and just a great, a fairly fantastic facilitator and space holder.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Not at all afraid to get into the shadowy bits which is what I loved about it.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then I would go across the street to my favorite little sushi place.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Anyone in Calgary is listening. It was Hannah sushi! I hope it’s still there.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and so I would often do this either for myself or with a friend. You know I would work during the day, and then I’d say, Oh, you want to hang out on Saturday. Cool. Do you want to go to this yoga class and then go for sushi, and then we’ll.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you know, go for tea or whatever, and so it was kind of a at least a once a month, if not twice a month, routine of mine.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So I thought when I was visiting Calgary, and this was post pandemic. And so I was really kind of

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Nyk Danu Yoga: nervous actually to go back home and just to see like which of my favorite businesses made it through this insanity, and which ones did not, and so I was grateful that the studio was still open. They still had a 4 30 in class, and I was stoked. I was excited. So I signed up for the class. Now I’m kind of a back of the class, kid, some of you, if you have been around my orbit for a while. That’s probably not going to surprise you, so I always like to tuck in the back corner as far in the back room as possible. If it’s a public class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: if it’s a teacher training or something, I’m second row, front and center, because I need to hear and see everything. But if it’s just a public yoga class I usually tuck in the back

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so I can hide. Have plenty of space be incognito, not have too many people around me.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And so I had done that. And let me just tell you that this class was anything but yin.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: There was a few yin poses thrown in there.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but in between each yin pose she was not allowing for a rebound. She was doing so many counter poses, and a lot of them were like little flowy things. So really the class should have been called a Yin Yang class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Now, had I known it was a Yin Yang class from the description I could have just.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you know, decided, am I up for that today? Okay or not?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But to think that it’s going to be a straight up yin class. Show up and start practicing and then find out it’s a Yin Yang class where we’re suddenly doing downward dogs and planks. And I’m like, Wait, what? What the hell is going on here?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So, needless to say, I definitely by about Post 3 wanted to walk out of that classroom.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and the only reason I didn’t is because I’m a teacher

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I work with teachers. And I mentor teachers, and I know how sensitive teachers are and how much we’re helping healing

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Nyk Danu Yoga: people, and that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: despite no matter how confident somebody is, somebody getting up and walking out of their class is going to shook them a little.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: They it might just be a minor shake like which. What happened to me with the most recent one where I just

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I saw her go. I sent her love and light. We’ll talk about that in a moment, not verbally, just, you know, energetically.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And I continued on with my teaching, and I didn’t skip much of a beat.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I’ll tell you how that was possible as we go in.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But I didn’t know this teacher, and I didn’t know. Could somebody, walking out part way through her class a quarter through her class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: cause her to, you know, kind of

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Nyk Danu Yoga: lose her footing for the rest of the class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and because I was all the way in the back, there was no way for me to just kind of slip out like I was gonna go to the washroom and never return, because I would have had to walk through the whole. And it was a busy, busy, big room. I would have had to walk through all the people with my stuff like with my water bottle and all my stuff.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so it would have been very obvious, and it would have been perhaps a bit of a spectacle. And so, despite the fact that I did not like that class, and it was not what I signed up for, and not what I wanted. I stayed, anyway.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and that was that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I’ve been to many classes

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Nyk Danu Yoga: where I’ve wanted to walk out. Another example I can think of not long ago was a colleague doing a yin and myofascial release workshop.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and you know, about 4 min in started getting political.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I was like, Excuse me.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: like, what what are you doing? Why are we? Why are we suddenly talking about politics in the middle of a sacred space.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I would have loved to walk out once again. I did not, because

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I was already again off in the back corner, and it was a colleague, and so I just grit my teeth and made the mental note that I will never return to one of her classes same as the other girl.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: This experience was not what I was hoping for, so I won’t be coming back.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But our students are not teachers, and they maybe don’t have, for example, the

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Nyk Danu Yoga: just the wherewithal, mentally and emotionally to kind of stay present with whatever discomfort might be coming up for them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So there’s so many reasons why people walk out of classes. One might be

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Nyk Danu Yoga: trauma. It could be that, you know, whatever the especially in a yin with the still and the quiet that you know. Maybe some stuff’s coming up. They’re feeling really restless, or they have some, perhaps some Ptsd, and they are not in a place where they are feeling resourced enough. That’s the word I was looking for, resourced enough

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that they can stay and be present with it and work with it through the class

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I as a Yoga teacher, I can do that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: with these classes. So if I go and I’m not loving the class, or it’s not what I wanted, or something comes up in the you know the rant of the teacher that I wish wasn’t there. I am resourced enough to go. Okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: let’s try to let that just be over here, and I’m going to continue with my practice.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And just note that I won’t be going to that class again.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but not all our students are resourced enough to do that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So it could be that something’s come up for them mentally or emotionally.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Maybe they’re in a vulnerable place in their life, and you know your your words were kind of sparking an emotion, and maybe they’re not quite ready to process that emotion. And so they flee.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: There is a reason why it’s called, you know, fight, flight or freeze.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: They flee.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Maybe it’s just that they actually didn’t even read the class description, and they just showed up for a class that is totally not their vibe

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Nyk Danu Yoga: totally possible.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so these are the the situations where it might be just what the student is experiencing. And right trauma, perhaps

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Nyk Danu Yoga: mental, emotional stuff coming up that they’re not prepared to deal with. Sometimes something physical comes up and they’re

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Nyk Danu Yoga: they don’t need to tell you

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Nyk Danu Yoga: like, what if someone’s got Ibs and all of a sudden part way through your class. They’re like, Oh, shit pun intended.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: You know that could be a thing

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Nyk Danu Yoga: or that you know their bladder, or I mean, we don’t know we don’t know what’s going on with people.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: There’s plenty of reasons why somebody might have to get up and remove themselves for your class. And let me tell you, dear teacher, very few of them have anything to do with you, and it has mostly everything to do with them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and that also, if that is what they need

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Nyk Danu Yoga: for their own self-care. That is what they should do.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: If the student cannot stay resourced, grounded, comfortable in your class, because something else is going on mentally, emotionally, physically.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: then they should feel like they have the right to go

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Nyk Danu Yoga: right like these are grown ass adults who paid to be there.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: they should have agency over their choice as to whether or not they should stay in the room, and when and how long that should be.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and this expectation of this teacher that had posted in the group.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that somehow she was the boss.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and that this student could only leave under certain circumstances and at certain times.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Oh, man, like I, said she. She got some feedback in the comments that perhaps she was not prepared for.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So, for example, how can you hold a trauma-informed space and then get in a snit because a student leaves?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And is it ideal that a student leaves right during the quietest part of class. No, it’s not ideal.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but it’s also not the end of the world. And you know what other people are in a public Yoga class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: You can expect things to happen that are a little less than ideal in a public Yoga class, because you’re practicing Yoga with other humans.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: people might get up and go to the washroom. People might get up and leave the room. People might fart, people might stink, people might make lots of noises when they practice. All of these things happen in Yoga classes, and if you’re studying at a studio with a teacher and you’re taking public classes, you just got to suck it up for some of that. If you don’t want any of that practice, yoga at home by yourself.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So I think that this teacher, 1st of all over, exaggerated in her own mind, her own authority.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because she is not the boss of that student. She does not get to decide when and how that student decides to practice.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: We can hope

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that our students won’t decide to use the washroom right before Shavasan, but it happens all the time.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: We could hope that somebody wouldn’t get up partway through Yoga Nidra and leave the room. But it could happen.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and this snit that this teacher had got in again. She was making it all about her.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: She thought she was making it about her students. But I will bet you anything. Her students were far less disturbed and disrupted by this than she was.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It was almost like she had this sense of the nerve of this woman leaving class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Let’s just get into the fact that she actually went up to her and inquired

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Nyk Danu Yoga: which I would not do. We’ll talk about what I do when people leave the class in a moment.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but I would not go up to somebody who’s getting up to leave and be like why are you leaving?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Or is everything okay or no?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: None of that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So the fact that she even went up and talked to her crosses a line to me.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then she refused to accept the woman’s reason, which was that she was cold

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and maybe she was cold.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: We don’t know. Maybe that degree of cold was that uncomfortable for her that she decided. I’m not enjoying this, so I’m going to go. If it was just that she was cold, and you know nothing else was going on there. Well, it’s unfortunate that she didn’t just add another blanket and stay, because that would be a little disruptive to the rest of the group. But it’s not the end of the world. It’s 1 yoga need to practice in one yoga class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: However, the I’m cold could have just been what she could quickly come up with.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because she didn’t really want to tell you why she was leaving, which is, I’m anxious, or I’m scared.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: or I’m grieving, or or or or a million other things

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Nyk Danu Yoga: right, mental, emotional, physical. Who knows? She could have Ibs? Maybe she’s just saying I’m cold because it’s less embarrassing than saying I’m about to shit my pants, you know.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So, dear. Yoga, teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I know that we’re sensitive beings. But please quit taking this so personally, somebody leaves your room. It’s because they needed to leave. Let them go with Grace and love. Let them go.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Don’t go up to them. Don’t try to convince them to stay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Whatever’s going on in the room at that time is not for them, and that is okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because they will find another Yoga class at a different time or another teacher. Or maybe they’ll come back to your class at a time where they’re more resourced, and they will love every minute of it.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But maybe that isn’t happening right then and there in that time.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So you are not a therapist.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: You cannot, you know, check in and see if everybody’s okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: You have a group to lead, and when one person decides to remove themselves from the group because they’re listening to their own needs, you are still responsible for that group.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and you were still responsible for the grounding that you now need to bring back into yourself, because you just watch someone get up and leave, and no matter how long you’ve been teaching, even if it’s just for a moment like it was for me. It was like a 2 moment thing where I was like, huh?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Well, that doesn’t happen very often. Was it something I said that happened?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But then I let it go because I had a group to lead.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I just had to assume that that student was doing what she needed to do for herself, for her own needs, for her own well-being, for her own self care that whatever, for whatever reason.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: my class or the style of the class or me, I don’t know which wasn’t right for her right then, and that is okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So 1st of all, don’t take it personally. Every teacher’s had people walk out.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It’s not that unusual now, like I said, in 20 years. It’s happened

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Nyk Danu Yoga: 4 times, but that’s just 4 people that were that did walk out. I don’t know how many people might have wanted to. I have no way to know that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So that’s just something you need to know is that even if

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you were guiding a really skillful, really soulful, really? Well thought out class. Even if you’re being trauma informed. And all of these things.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: there might be people there who it’s just not the right class for them on the right day

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because of mental, emotional stuff, energetic stuff, physical stuff! Who knows? The woman could have just been like Oh, my God! I forgot to plug the parking meter, and if I come home with one more ticket my husband’s gonna lose his shit. We don’t know. We don’t know what that woman was going through.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: We don’t know what the woman that left my room was going through now, I’m pretty sure, with the 1st guy I I know he didn’t. He obviously didn’t want to take shoes off

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so, and I don’t know why. Maybe he has

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Nyk Danu Yoga: something going on with his feet.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Again remind. I didn’t tell him to take socks off just to shoes, because I I because of that, I thought, well, maybe he’s self conscious of his feet. If I can just get the shoes off.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: That’s enough.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But he left so it could just be that he has something going on with his feet. Maybe he’s embarrassed or ashamed of something to do with his feet. That’s possible. Or maybe

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Nyk Danu Yoga: he just doesn’t like people asking him what to do, telling him or asking him what to do.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Maybe the fact that you know some young female came up to him and said.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Can I get you to take your shoes off?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Triggered him in some way.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Maybe I don’t know. I’ll never know.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It doesn’t matter. He did what he needed to do at the time.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I continued on with the class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So there’s that now I will say that I have a lot. I almost never have somebody leave the room nowadays in my registered series. Because I actually know all of these students. They know me. I know them. I get to know them. And so there’s a different level there of care that I can offer.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but also of me seeing them and

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Nyk Danu Yoga: reading kind of where they’re at.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and they also feel safer, because I tell them all the time. I don’t care if you do the sequence that I have chosen.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I do not care if you just come here, and you lay on your mat, and you sleep.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I don’t care if you do, heartbed, and don’t ever leave it for the whole class. If you feel like you are going to be getting a benefit by showing up here today with me, with us the group.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: even if you don’t do the exact practice, then please come right. So my students also know that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that I’m not going to try to convince them to do anything. I’m not going to try to force them to do anything. I’m not going to be upset if they choose to opt out of a pose or 2, or the whole practice, and have a nap. All of. That’s fine by me.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So it doesn’t happen in my

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Nyk Danu Yoga: registered series that people get up and leave or drop off on the zoom

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but once in a while in a drop in class where I’m just getting random people off the street that may or may not have ever practiced with me.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It’s a possibility.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I have to allow for the fact and trust the fact that if somebody leaves the room that they’re doing what they need to do to take care of themselves that day.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and that they should have agency and permission to do so.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Okay, so let’s talk that’s talking about like what might be going on for them. But let’s talk about what goes on for us as a teacher when someone gets up and leaves well, 1st of all, if you already suffer from imposter, syndrome, or low self-esteem, you’re going to take that shit personally.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I’m going to say it one more time, my friends, that has almost nothing to do with you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: almost nothing to do with you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It’s just that, whatever you’re offering the style of yoga, the pace, whatever is coming up for them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: They can’t deal with it right then and there they gotta go. They got to go take care of themselves. And that is okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So very little does it have anything to do with you

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Nyk Danu Yoga: now? Some of times it could be prevented by students actually reading class descriptions.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I mean that that could be a thing like one of the ones that you know left, and you know, did did address it with me when she left, when she said. I just realized this isn’t the class style for me, for where I’m at right now, you know. Had she read the class description where it said, still quiet, long holds meditative stillness, etc, etc. She might have realized that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: beforehand.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But she didn’t. And so that’s that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Now, I would also say, though, here’s where studios and teachers do have to take some responsibility.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So where I had said that I was in that class that was said to be a yin class. And then there was all kinds of downward doggie planky situations in between yin poses.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: That could have been better addressed in the class description.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So either that teacher doesn’t actually have yin training.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: That could be one thing number 2, or it could be. Maybe she’s got yin training. But she personally herself, does not enjoy a 100 yin class, and so that’s why she likes to mix it up.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: or it could be that she was just subbing or filling in temporarily for the regular teacher. Who does teach that I don’t know.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But if that is her regular, let’s just assume it’s her regular time slot. She always teaches that class

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that could be cleared up in the description of the class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: If it said, This is a Yin Yang class, you will be doing some yin poses intermixed with movement.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Very clear. Right? Oh, okay, we’re going to have some student lists. We’re going to have some movement. I probably wouldn’t have gone to the class had I known.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because I was really hoping for that straight up Yinness that I used to get at that time slot

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Nyk Danu Yoga: so that could have been fixed just with a better class description.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Yeah.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I think also, when it comes to politics, and I realize that this is going to get me all kinds of trouble. But I think if you are going to be discussing politics in your classes, you need to say that somewhere.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because for a lot of people they come to Yoga because it’s their one reprieve from the world.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It is their one place where they get to just be

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and heal and ground so that they can go back out into the world, which is always talking about politics anyway.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So if you are a teacher who’s like, I’m a social justice warrior. Yoga is social justice. I’m going to bring this into all my classes. Make sure that’s in your description

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that you weave in themes of social justice, of politics, of whatever, so that people can decide to opt in or out of that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: It can be very triggering.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and I’m using triggering in the actual way, not in the millennial. I’m offended because you said something I didn’t like way, but in the actual Ptsd way. It can be triggering for people to show up.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and all of a sudden, you know, have have these intense subject matters discussed when that’s not what they came for.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So it would have been good to just denote that in your classes. If that’s you as a teacher, if you’re a really political teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Then just make sure you mention that somewhere.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So people can choose to be in that space with that or not.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: because, you know, a lot of us get enough of that everywhere else. It’s on the social medias. It’s on the media, especially right at the time of this recording, which by the time you listen to it, it will be over. But you know I’m in Canada, and we’re expecting elections. So like politics is everywhere. It’s at the dinner table. It’s with your friends. It’s on the signs on the road. It’s it’s everywhere.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And so for a lot of people, Yoga class is their only reprieve from that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So I would say.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: if you are a political style teacher, just give people that as a heads up in your class description.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that you will be discussing these kinds of themes. So people can decide. Do I want to be there for that or not?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So those are the only 2 examples I can think of where, maybe, you know, a better class description might result in less people leaving or less people wanting to leave.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But if the class style like, if it’s a yin class, and someone just isn’t resourced enough for an inward practice or introception for a yin experience, if they’re just not in a place in their life where they can address that.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: then they should go, if that’s what they need to do for them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And I, as the teacher, should not be offended by them.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I should understand that that person is doing what they need to do

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Nyk Danu Yoga: for themselves, and that it has nothing to do with me, or irritating the other students, and everything to do with them, having agency to take care of themselves, and I have to honor and respect that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: now, if I was in a class every week.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you know, like a registered series, or a regular student that always left during need to every week. Then I might address it with them and say, Hey, Yoga need was not for everybody.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But if you don’t want to, you know, if you don’t want to do the need drug. Can you just leave before we start? You know, if it happened repeatedly, I might take that student inside and say, Hey.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you can totally go, whatever.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but it might be disrupt, less disruptive to the group. If you left before we get into Yoga Nidra.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I could give you a cue or a code word if you’d like as to when we’re going to start

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Nyk Danu Yoga: now, that’s only if the person did it repeatedly right. And you knew this student

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that would probably not happen, though, because somebody typically who isn’t ready or comfortable enough to do a Nidra practice, which is also a still, quiet, very introceptive experience. So if whatever’s going on for them in their lives, whether it be mentally, emotionally, physically, even if that practice isn’t a good fit for them, they’re not likely going to come back to your class if they left partway through

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Nyk Danu Yoga: right.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So that’s what I want to say about all of that stuff. Now, what do you do as a teacher? Well, 1st of all, you have to not take it personally, and I know that that’s hard for some of you harder than others.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: But you just have to pause in that moment when you feel like you’re now being triggered

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and say, Hmm, okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Just left. He just left.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Take this little mantra, if you’d like that has nothing to do with me

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Nyk Danu Yoga: that has nothing to do with me personally, as a human, as a teacher, and everything to do with where they’re at and their needs right now in this moment.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So you could say that to yourself, this has nothing to do with me as a person, as a teacher, and everything to do with them, honoring their needs

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Nyk Danu Yoga: in this moment.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Okay.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I want my students to honor their needs. That’s part of what I’m trying to teach them as a Yoga teacher.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then you continue on with the class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So you have to just not take it personally, because it’s not about you.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And I realize that for some of us that maybe are more confident in our teaching or more experience, or just a more confident person in general, that that is easier to say than for others who maybe are a bit more sensitive or a bit more highly critical, or a newer teacher, or who think that everything should be perfect for everyone all the time. So if that’s you, I understand that this is going to be more of a challenge, but maybe you could take that phrase and tuck it in your back pocket. But this has nothing to do with me

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and my class. It has everything to do with that person honoring their needs right now in this moment.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and then the other thing that I do.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: you know, so I might. I might feel a little spark of indignation, or irritation, or confusion, or something. When that student get up, gets up to leave. Of course I’m human. That little little ember is going to kind of start.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: but because I have spent many years meditating, I can observe that thought and that emotion. And I can go. Okay, I see you. But actually, what we’re going to bring in instead, is that person just did what they needed for themselves in this moment.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and then what I do as a teacher. If I’m not speaking literally right, as it happens.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I will put one hand on my heart, and I will mentally send them loving kindness

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Nyk Danu Yoga: if I can’t stop. You know what I’m doing, because I’m mid sentence, I will still pause and do it in my mind.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: May you be well may you be content! May you be at peace! May you be free!

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So Lovin and Meta, as they leave.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: wishing them well on their path, not taking it personally, because it actually has nothing to do with me personally.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and everything to do with just where they’re at that day.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Maybe I am a good teacher for them in the future.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: or have been in the past, and for whatever they’re going through in that moment. I’m not.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: or maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m just not the teacher. I’m not for everybody, neither are you, dear Yoga, teacher. Nobody is for everybody, which is great, because there’s so many Yoga teachers out there. So many students doesn’t matter.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: So maybe you’re not the teacher for them. If so, wish them well, send them love, send them on their way, or maybe you might be the teacher for them in the past or the future. But just in that moment

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Nyk Danu Yoga: it’s not a fit, because whatever they’re going through in their own personal journey.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: And then, finally, maybe it’s just the style of Yoga isn’t for them, at least at that point in their life.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Right? Not everybody is, is ready to sit in the still and quiet

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and look at the shit that comes up.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and so if they’re in your yin class, and they leave.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: it could be that, or it could literally just be that some shit’s coming up. We don’t know. We don’t know why people leave. It could be mental, emotional, physical. It doesn’t matter.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: All of them

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Nyk Danu Yoga: are nothing to do with you. Totally. Not. Your fault does not mean you’re a shitty teacher. Doesn’t mean that your class sucks. It just means that person is taking care of their own needs. And so can we hands on heart whether it’s physically or mentally

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Nyk Danu Yoga: send them a little bit of well wishes on their way out for their journey, and then come back to the group that is still there, that you need to serve and to lead.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: All right, my friends, I think that’s enough rambling about that

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Nyk Danu Yoga: I hope that you found this helpful. If you are on Spotify or on Youtube, I would love to know in the comments, or if you’re even on my own blog where these are embedded. If there’s a place to comment, I want to hear your comments about. Have you had a student leave?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: How’d you feel? What’d you do about that?

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Nyk Danu Yoga: How often has it happened? etc. Now, if somebody’s leaving your class all the time like if every week that you’re teaching. Someone’s leaving. There is something awry there, either with your teaching, or maybe it’s just the class description and expectations of what to expect in the class. So you know, if it’s happening all the time, then maybe we do need to look at. Is it? Is there something I could be doing differently? Or is the class not described properly? But if just every once in a while someone leaves your class.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: they’re just taking care of themselves.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: bless them and send them on their way.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Okay, my friends, I hope you found that helpful. Please let me know in the comments. If this was helpful. If you’ve had someone leave, and it really shook you. Or if you’ve had people leave what you do about it, how you feel about it I’d love to know.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: and until we meet again.

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Nyk Danu Yoga: Bye, for now.